Weddings,Funerals, Xmas and

Weddings, Funerals and Christmas Time
December, 2008
As I write in the cool of the morning, I am listening to news from the world and US via a shortwave radio, it all seems rather distant in an out with the airwaves fading in and out. So I switch to Pete Singer and listen to the song of homelessness in the US. In the forefront are the noises of cleaning and preparations for a wedding gathering. Sweeping, cooking, and movable plastic chairs are a necessity for any gathering whether it be a wedding or a funeral. People come, talk and eat. The chairs are moved constantly to either be in or out of the sun depending on the weather, but most often it is to pull under the shade of a tree.
Early one morning few weeks ago the lobola or bride price was decided by the older men in the family. Not sure how man cows it was, but there is a coral or kraal not far for actual cow to be placed, viewed and transferred if necessary. Today the wedding is occurring. The guests are gathering at the bride’s house across the way and the actually wedding party will meet here. Last weekend, there was another wedding celebration just behind my house. It took all morning to erect a huge tent and wonderful music floated throughout the neighborhood all day.
December is the time for lots of wedding celebrations. All children and teachers are off from school and most people return to their villages for several weeks to celebrate Christmas. Families gather in their compounds. Mine has several generations. The young ones toddle around, the teens cruise and do chores, the older sibs go visiting and the old ones sit and talk. It is all very relaxed. Christmas is family time. Some go to the lands to plough, most travel home, and those who work get time off later. Most holidays are at least two days here because people have to travel home, especially those who live near the Kalahari Desert in the middle of the country. Everyone I know who live there loves it and really misses it when they choose to work in the towns.
Funerals take place weekly. Mostly the old folks attend them. Everyone in this large village of 50,000 plus is related to everyone else. Hence, they are your sister or brother here. Many live to a ripe old age, but those with HIV/AIDS die of secondary infections like the son of my family who died a painful death just a few years ago leaving a small toddler who is toddling around this Christmas. Those who die on Sundays or during the week are buried early Saturday morning. The body comes to the house on Friday night and then leaves early the next morning for burial. The nights leading up to the burial have evening prayers in which the departed is prayed for after which people are feed hot meals regardless of their numbers. For the prayers and the funeral, there is wonderful music with wonderful call and responses. One of our teachers died the last week of school. At 7am one morning the last week of school, all students, teachers, admin, and staff (about 2500 plus) gathered in the outdoor assembly space. Teacher, students, administrators and family (from Zimbabwe)spoke, sang and prayed in a beautiful memorial service which was organized within a day or two.
These weddings, funerals and family gatherings are essential elements of the lives here in Botswana. While people live and work in a conventional bureaucratic system, the real life is family centered. Christianity and traditional beliefs are inextricably interwoven here in Botswana. Yet the dress, offices, streets and buildings look very western on the outside. Hence, as an outsider, one does not know what is happening below the surfaces. It all adds to the mystery, humbling one when you think you know what is happening or going to occur.
Which reminds me, if you and the time and really want to know what Peace Corps in Botswana is about, I suggest you Google some blogs of other volunteers. I just read several to learn how many of my co-workers are doing. Their stories make a real collage of what happens here. One was accidently stuck with a needle while holding a baby being treated and is now suffering through a month long treatment to prevent HIV, not easy. Many describe their experiences living and working here, their successes, failures and surprises. Many are very good writers and keep you in suspense. In all cases the story are very human and personal.