A Good Farewell

A Pleasant Ending January, 2009
Hello from sunny Botswana. I have just come back from my third funeral over that last several months. This was not the biggest, nor the one with the most music, but it was a very good ending for a long life. Last night there had been a huge thunderstorm, but by morning it was dry and clear for the services, as if on cue, the rain had stopped.
The old woman, who I had met, was a relative to both families where I have lived. She seemed to be related to everyone in the town. She died on December 22, but was not buried until January 3rd. As was the practice, people came for evening prayers and dinner for three nights in advance. The she was buried early this morning, with a service beginning at 6 am at her home. This makes sense since you go to the graveyard before the sun gets too hot.
The service consisted of two ministers, a choir of six dressing in white jackets with capes and black skirts. The songs are throughout and sung without instrumentation. Family spoke with a large wooden casket in front. Everyone gathered in front of the house with plastic chairs. The family was in front. The women are usually in the backyard cooking. Friends, neighbors and lots of relatives were there. Everyone seems related in one way or another. All was very well organized with a printed program that includes a picture of the deceased.
After the service, we all got in pickup trucks, small van shuttle busses, and cars to follow Lyn’s Funeral Home hearse to the local graveyard about three miles away. (It is my experience, that this one funeral home has branches all over Botswana and does a thriving business from what I can tell. )We slowly drove through the dirt roads around the community she lived it, passing homes of friends and neighbors. We got out around a freshly dug grave, where there was another service with songs and testimonials. Finally, the caskets was lowered and the men took turns shoveling in dirt, filling in not just the grave, but about a yard full of dirty on top of it, which is contained by an iron grate with slate stones placed around it to contain the dirt and a dark green screen on top to keep the light out.
Then everyone piled back in the vehicles to go back to the house for a meal, which consisted of meat, thick porridge, and a few stewed vegetables. Three cows and a goat were slaughtered for the occasion. Many women pitched in on the cooking in huge iron pots. Plates were served and passed down a line to all the guests. Everyone met, talked and ate. And as the custom has it, you then take food home. The event is not successful unless there is lots of meat and you take it home as well. Orange squash was served afterwards and people then left. Everything was over by 10:30am in the morning.
The same procedure seems to be used for all funerals. Women do lots of cooking for the event. Neighbors and friends pitch into help. Everyone gets together. Since the families are so large, the events appear to be weekly. It is all very predictable with a very set pattern.