A Tribute to My Small Friend

The Life of Tebogo Benjamin P
March 2009
While working at the guidance and counseling center at my senior secondary school, I meet students on a daily basis that were temporarily not feeling well. They are allowed to rest on a bed in the center or take a pain killer if they have a specific ache or pain. Several students are repeaters, so I am able to get to know them and their problems. One of these was Tebogo, a 19 year old boy, who looked more like he was thirteen. He came in frequently for headaches. Sometimes he came briefly for a pain pill, other times it was for several hours. On one of these occasions, his mother was called and through an interpreter it was decided that the three of us would go to the hospital together the following day.
We spent most of one day at the hospital. We waited to see a nurse for several hours and then the three of us saw went into the small office to review his past record and current complaints of head aches. The nurse recommended he see a doctor. We then waited to see a doctor. In the doctor’s office, the doctor asked Tebogo to review his medical history. With this knowledge, he ordered blood tests, x-rays and an eye exam. After an eye exam, the doctor insisted Tebogo needed glasses that had been previously ordered but never purchased due to lack the high cost of glasses. However, Tebogo and his mother were told to go to a hospital where they could order glasses for less than full price.
After all tests were conducted, the only result they found pointed to the need for glasses. The mother and son went to two hospitals in different locations and eventually were told they could get glasses but would have to pay for them. Several months went by without the acquisition of the glasses. Finally an aunt offered to pay for them but had some problems and could not pay for them in the short run. Eventually the mother and the aunt were able to come up with the funds, but it was too late.
On February 22 Tebogo died on a Sunday night after experiencing sweats and a headache leading to a kind of seizure. The way I found out was having a teacher ask me if some grieving students could come to the guidance and counseling center to cry until they felt like returning to class. I was shocked that I knew the student. I had seen Tebogo the week before when he had come into the center complaining of headaches but saying that things were better in general.
A few days later, the entire school, all 2,000 plus gathered at an assembly to remember him with hymns and testimonials. My guidance teacher and I then drove out to the home where traditional evening prayers were being said. Since there are no addresses, we drove around in the vicinity before finding the right house. Unfortunately there had been recent rains and the roads were muddy and difficult to navigate. We ended up getting stuck. So we abandoned the car and walked.
When we arrived the prayers were in process. Many neighbors and relatives had gathered. The women sat on the ground facing the men in chairs. The women were responsible for the prayers that night. Several took turns talking and traditional hymns were sung. After this, a few relatives brought in a donation of large bags of rice, sorghum, flour, and corn were placed in front along with a large container of cooking oil. This food was intended to feed all the guests for the week’s evening prayers and the funeral early on Saturday to be followed by a meal. A collection was taken up for the funeral expenses both at this service and at the school memorial.
After the prayers, we were offered hot tea and fried bread. Then we went to talk to his mother. She was sitting on a foam mattress in a cement brick room with no furniture. Speaking through an interpreter, she said she was at peace knowing that her son was no longer suffering. She remembered me and indicated that Tebogo was aware of our presence and grateful for the time we spent at the hospital together.
When we left a large group of twenty accompanied us ready to assist with lifting and pushing our car out of the mud. Amazingly, many experienced hands succeeded in moving the car in no time. We were most grateful and went on our way thanks to thoughtful neighbors and relatives. And so I said farewell to my small friend who I miss seeing around the school and in the assemblies since due to his height he was usually in the front row.